Understanding Sexuality

Your sexuality, or sexual orientation, is basically a way to describe the feelings you have for someone you are romantically attracted to. Sexuality is a natural and healthy part of who we are. Each of us feels differently about our sexuality, and we may express it in different ways. We all find different people attractive, and this applies to young people too.

Most people start to feel more definite about who they are attracted to from puberty onwards into their early teens. It is normal for young people to fancy people of the opposite sex, the same sex, or both, or to be unsure or not feel attracted to anyone. Some people from an early age are very sure of their sexual orientation, but it’s not unusual for someone to be less sure, and it can change over time too.

The most common definitions of sexual orientation are as follows:

• Heterosexual/Straight: a person physically and emotionally attracted to someone of the opposite sex, so a male attracted to a female and a female attracted to a male
• Gay: a male physically and emotionally attracted to another male or a female physically and emotionally attracted to another female (more commonly used in males)
• Lesbian: a female physically and emotionally attracted to another female
• Homosexual (gay/lesbian): People who are homosexual are attracted to the same sex. Homosexual men are often called gay and homosexual women are often called lesbians but can also be called gay.
• Bisexual/Bi: People who are bisexual are attracted to both males and females
• Pansexual: People who are attracted to other people regardless of their sex or gender identity.
• Asexual/Ace: People who are asexual or ace don’t feel sexually attracted to anyone and feel no desire to have sex.

For many young people, coming out as being lesbian, gay, bisexual or any other sexuality, is a scary time and they often fear rejection from their parents and carers. While some are very positive and supportive, other people may find it more difficult to accept. Scotland has come a long way in terms of equality, but homophobia has not disappeared and can impact young people in terms of bullying and feeling marginalised.

LGBT Youth Scotland offers some really useful resources that can help parents and carers understand and support their young people.