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Consent
In Scotland, the legal age of consent is 16. This means that in the eyes of the Law, people aged 16 and over have the maturity to make the decision to have sex.
The law is the same for gay, straight and bisexual people. It doesn’t matter what gender the person is you are having sex with or the type of sex (oral, vaginal or anal sex) the law is still the same.
However, there are some exceptions! For example, if you want to have sex with someone who is in a position of trust (a teacher, social worker, youth worker etc.) then you have to be 18.
Some people with mental health issues or a disability that might affect their ability to make decisions might not have the ability to consent.
The word consent means to ask permission or give permission for something.
When it comes to sex, this means each person taking part in the sexual act (from kissing to penetrative sex) agrees to and gives permission and there must be “free agreement” which means no one should do something if they feel forced or pressured for any reason.
Remember also, you can change your mind, even if you’re already having sex and have previously consented. It’s your body and you decide what happens to it. There are some instances when free agreement cannot take place:
- When an individual is incapable because of drink or drugs
- If there is violence or threat of violence
- If someone is unlawfully detained
- If someone is deceived as to the nature of the activity
- If someone thinks the person they are having sex with is someone else
- If sexual activity is agreed to by a third person
- If someone is asleep or unconscious
Communication is key. Asking someone if they want to have sex is a clear way to make sure both people involved want to have sex.
That doesn’t mean stopping everything and filling out permission forms, it just means making sure both of you feel happy and want to go to the next level.
Thames Valley Police Commission a resource called “Tea and Consent” which may be useful if you are struggling to understand the concept of consent.
If consent is not given and someone is forced to have sex against their will – this is called rape. Rape is when someone is forced to have sex against his or her will.
People can be forced to have sex through violence or through verbal (spoken) threats.
The first thing to remember is it is not your fault if someone has forced you to have sex when you didn’t want to. If you are in immediate danger you should always call the police on 999.
There are lots of helplines and online places you can go to get advice or you can speak to a parent/carer or an adult you trust.
Remember you won’t get into trouble for telling someone if you have been raped, sexually assaulted or abused.
Childline: www.childline.org.uk
Rape Crisis: www.rapecrisis.org.uk
Thinkuknow: www.thinkuknow.co.uk