Being Ready for Sex

It can be tricky to figure out if and when you’re ready to have sex for the first time. It’s different for each person.

You might also feel like absolutely everyone else is having sex, but that’s not the case and figures show that in the UK, only about 25% of young people aged 15-17 in Scotland are having sex – which means 75% are NOT!

Some reasons people want to lose their virginity and have sex for the first time are:

• Peer pressure
• Think they will be more mature or grown-up
• Natural next step in a sexual relationship
• Horny/curious and want to know what it feels like

Here are some questions that can help you decide if you’re ready to have sex:

• Is this a decision you have been thinking about for a while – weeks, months or even years?
• Have you found a person you would like to have sex with, and they would also like to have sex with you?
• Have you had a conversation with your partner about having sex for the first time, including any worries or concerns you/both might have?
• Have you thought about contraceptive methods and how to make sure you/your partner don’t get an STI or pregnant?
• Do you have a safe, private space to have sex?

Most teenagers aren’t thinking about having babies, and no one wants a sexually transmitted infection (STI) like herpes or syphilis – so it is important that you use contraception.

There are lots of different types of contraception people use, but the best method of contraception to prevent STIs is a condom because it’s a barrier method (it stops infection spreading, kind of like a surgeon’s glove…but for a penis).

To find out more about different types of contraception, please see the Contraception section.

For information on how to access free condoms in Lanarkshire, please see the Free condoms section. Finally, to find out where and when you can access the young people’s sexual health clinics, please go to the Services page.

Young people can often worry if having sex for the first time might hurt a little or be uncomfortable. All girls have a hymen, a small piece of skin deep inside the vagina.

Sometimes this breaks during sex and feels a little uncomfortable and there might even be a little bit of blood. The most important thing to make sex feel comfortable for both you and your partner is to take it slow.

If at any point you hurt, you can ask your partner to stop and do a little bit of foreplay (like kissing or touching each other) to make you a little more relaxed.

And remember, if at ANY point you decide you don’t want to continue, you have every right to stop and say no.