Understanding Gender

Sex and gender are two different terms that are sometimes, incorrectly, used interchangeably. Sex refers to the two groups (male and female) that most living things are divided into according to their reproductive systems and other biological differences. When we look at gender, it actually has nothing to do with sex or reproductive organs.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) defines gender as the socially constructed characteristics of women and men – such as norms, roles, behaviours and relationships of and between groups of women and men.

These attributes are more about masculinity and femininity than male or female and when individuals or groups do not “fit” established gender norms they often face stigma, discrimination or social exclusion – all of which adversely affect health. It is important to be sensitive to different identities that do not necessarily fit into binary male or female sex categories. Feelings around gender identity can be permanent or can change and be expressed differently at different times.

Society is still geared towards the assumption that everyone’s ‘feeling’ about whether they are male or female, matches their biological sex.

This can make it hard for children and young people who don’t feel that way and feel their gender is different from their sex, either some of the time or all of the time. It can also be difficult for some parents and carers to accept and support their young people if they struggle to understand it themselves.

If a child seems confused about their gender, it’s normal for parents to feel worried, but it’s important to support your child or young person and not to jump to conclusions.

It is both common and natural for very young children to show an interest in clothes or toys associated with the “opposite gender”. Children under five may have little awareness that certain preferences are associated with one gender or another.

So if a young boy enjoys dressing in his sister’s clothes, or a young girl refuses to wear dresses and only wants to play with cars and trucks, this probably means nothing in terms of how the child feels about his or her gender.

Parents tend to worry more about gender-variant behaviour in little boys because it presents more of a challenge to our assumptions about gender. It is very common for the older generation such as Grandparents, to feel uncomfortable with their Grandson’s playing with dolls and prams – but in reality, it is simply allowing young boys to harness a loving and nurturing side of their personality.

Children who do continue to experience gender variance as they get older will develop in different ways. Some may feel they don’t belong to any gender or have a gender at all, for other, the feelings of distress will disappear naturally over time. There are some organisations who can provide more information to support both parents and young people:

LGBT Youth Scotland – Scotland’s national charity for young LGBTQ+ people, aged 13-25.

For young people who feel strong and persistent discomfort about their gender, puberty is often a very difficult time. The physical changes that occur at puberty can increase feelings of anxiety and unhappiness about their body or their gender. If your child is strongly identifying with the opposite gender, it’s best to speak to a professional. Contact your GP in the first instance to discuss a potential referral to the Sandyford Gender clinic.